If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
