We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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