everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
