batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
