I'm drive I can fine osifer
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize