Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
