i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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