You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
