You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
