are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
