I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
