im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
