just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
