umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
