Im at strip club and am horny
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
