my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
