Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
