Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
