my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
