Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
