i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
