I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
