We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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