your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
