And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
