you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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