Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize