is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
