I want to stick my p in your. b.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
