dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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