Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
