DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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