the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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