My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I forget how to act sober
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
