Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize