i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
