Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
