i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My ATM looks so different sober.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
