You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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