YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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