he wants to bone in the snuggie
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
do herpes really smell.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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