Define "chronic" masturbator.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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