Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
