great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
