there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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