I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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