taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
