I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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