Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There's always time for handjobs
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
