You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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