Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
