Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
