I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
