The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
