I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize