i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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