I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
