last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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