So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
