just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
