There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize