this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
