big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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