So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
