the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
