i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
