So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
